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 enlarge | Author: Jonathan Miles
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Co
Category: Book
List Price: $22.00
Buy New: $11.18
You Save: $10.82 (49%)
New (39) Collectible (8) from $11.18
Avg. Customer Rating:  30 reviews
Sales Rank: 4213
Media: Hardcover
Edition: 1
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 192
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.6 x 0.8
ISBN: 0547054017
Dewey Decimal Number: 813.6
EAN: 9780547054018
ASIN: 0547054017
Publication Date: June 5, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Shipping: Expedited shipping available
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: NEW: NEVER READ!! ..ALL ORDERS SHIP SAME OR NEXT BUSINESS DAY, FREE POSTAL DELIVERY CONFIRMATION FOR U.S. ORDERS, TOP CUSTOMER SERVICE, SATISFACTION IS OUR TOP PRIORITY!!!!
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| Customer Reviews:
 Thought it was weird - not worth the hype September 20, 2008
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
The story idea was great tho I kept getting sidetracked by the Polish-friend side story going on, which really seemed pointless to the story at hand. This book would be better read than audiobooked, which is what I did. The narrator's accent flubbed around quite a bit and I got to wishing he'd just have read it in his regular voice or they'd have chosen an actual guy from NOLA to read it! Also the forced use of (a ton of) expletives did not enhance the story - it just seemed, well, forced. There were times I almost gave up... Author's story is compelling, tho, and it speaks to the character's vulnerability. Agree with OP that I expected more after the hype. Thought it would be funnier, have better anecdotes, and/or have Bennie more redeemed for being the miscreant that he is. Ending was anticlimactic to say the least. Overall, an OK book but not a homerun. I would not recommend spending $$ on it.
 Thorns hoping to become the rose September 13, 2008
1 out of 3 found this review helpful
As a plot device the complaint letter looks improbable, but for this "rage against the dying of the coot to your left" the comic tone of Mr. Miles' construction lifts the story's pathos into the lyrical and the sublime - or something like that - and when in the end Bennie makes his flight the beauty of it is remarkable.
 Wordy and sad September 10, 2008
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
When I read an excerpt on Amazon I couldn't believe I was laughing-I had to read it.
I did not laugh again after that. I read all of the 180 pages but it certainly wasn't a great reading pleasure. It's like watching a movie that I want to walk out on but have to wait for a redeeming moment. At least it's not very long.
I did not hear the message. I know at one point I thought I was reading non-fiction. When I realized my error my thoughts went something like this: why would you want to dream up this mess? What is it about being a victim that people would actually be interested in reading? I did not get the Walenty inserts.
One sentence stood out:" Or maybe I just imagined she was laughing-desire painting perception."
The perfect novel for your next plane trip September 6, 2008
1 out of 3 found this review helpful
Imagine having the plane to your daughter's wedding canceled . . . you
wouldn't be happy camper . . . in fact, you might even write a complaint
letter.
That's the premise behind DEAR AMERICAN AIRLINES, a funny but sad
first novel by Jonathan Miles . . . his main character, Bennie Ford, winds
up trapped in Chicago's O'Hare airport.
So he starts writing a letter--one that never ends . . . it actually runs
the full length of the book (some 180 pages) and covers a wide range
of subjects, including the joys of sitting in the waiting area chairs:
* Enclosed please find my sciatic nerve. Due to the wear and tear
on it from hours upon hours in this miserable fu*king O'Hare
seating--these patent-pending O'Chairs--I am sending it to you for speedy
repair. A return envelope is also enclosed, which you may address to me
care of the wheelchair bank across from Gate K8, Chicago, Ill.
I also got a kick out of how Bernie's mind rambled to include
the facility's bathrooms:
* For the past ten minutes or so, among other activities, I've been pondering why
airport bathrooms hardly ever feature graffiti. Truckstop bathrooms serve much
the same purpose--as pitstops for travelers on the go--yet their walls are
almost always festooned with rich commentary. Jesus saves! (The rejoinder:
But Satan invests.) Don't look for a joke here, it's in your hand. Please don't
toss cigarette butts in the toilet, it makes them hard to light. John 3:16.
(Rejoinder: Matthew 3:20--just missed you.) Etc. And my personal favorite,
which I saw scrawled on a condom machine in an Allentown, PA, truckstop:
Insert baby for refund.
That last one actually had me laughing out loud . . . good thing I wasn't
in an airport, in that the folks there would have probably wondered
about me.
The author even came up with such investment ideas as the following:
*It occurs to me that those whizbang handheld slot machines might
be a good investment for you. Here's how it would work:
Passengers would be handed one of the machines with their boarding
pass. At the gate, thirty minutes prior to the scheduled departure,
everyone would have to take a spin at the very same time. If everyone
hits jackpot simultaneously, a massive cheer goes up and the plane
departs on time. If not, they wait one hour and try again. The upside for
you is that we passengers would bemoan our bad luck rather than
castigate you. Fate would get the blame, not the poor attendants
who in this scenario will just shrug and smile and bid us better
luck next time. Your planes would take off at about their normal rate
but the populist heat would be diverted. See? I offer this idea to you
gratis though you should feel encouraged to cite me in the press release.
It would make my mother so proud to see me in the business pages.
In fact, here's my quote: " 'Americans love gambling, but their main
form of gambling--heading to the airport--has been flagrantly rigged
for years,' said Benjamin Ford, a transportation consultant who
devised the system for the Texas-based airline. 'The Jackpot Take-Off
from American Airlines is a game of pure chance, and takes the flying
game out of corporate hands and delivers it into the hands of the
people.' " Tweak as needed, and you're welcome.
What a concept!
And what a book DEAR AMERICAN AIRLINES is . . . it's the perfect
thing to read on your next plane trip.
 What's in a thought. September 1, 2008
1 out of 4 found this review helpful
Even while feeling the anger and frustration of flight cancellations, it is not enough just to write to American Airlines for a refund. All the now conscious thinking regarding the consequences, or imagined consequences of this predicament, are coming to mind.
Trying to stay busy in an airport by doing some translating work becomes interspersed with the imagined emotional responses of this flight cancellation. Boored behavior exhibits itself.
I find it fascinating to read how a mind can jump from one subject to another--although we all do this all day, every day.
Scary thing, the mind.
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