Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About: A Novel | 
 enlarge | Author: Mil Millington
Publisher: Villard
Category: Book
List Price: $13.95
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Avg. Customer Rating:  42 reviews
Sales Rank: 53578
Media: Paperback
Edition: 1
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 384
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 8 x 5.1 x 0.8
ISBN: 081296666X
Dewey Decimal Number: 823.92
EAN: 9780812966664
ASIN: 081296666X
Publication Date: January 14, 2003
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Product Description
Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About concerns a guy named Pel who lives with his German girlfriend, Ursula. Pel leads an uneventful life—quietly bluffing his way through his job and discovering new things to argue about with Ursula. But when his boss mysteriously disappears, Pel steps innocently into his shoes and his life spirals out of control in a chaotic whirl of stolen money, missing colleagues, and Chinese mafiosi.
Its fractured thriller plot punctuated by blazingly hilarious set-piece arguments between the hapless Pel and the unflappable Ursula, Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About is a brilliant comic novel examining the unique warfare in long-term relationships.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 37 more reviews...
 I couldn't stop laughing November 2, 2008
Mil Millington is a Brit with typical British humor - a layer of deadpan dryness lurking under a generous helping of knee-slappers and witty family humor. I first discovered him on his website, thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com. He writes about arguments between him and his quintessentially German girlfriend, and sometimes their two sons. But that's not what the book is about.
No, the book is about British IT middle manager Pel, his German girlfriend Ursula, and their two sons. Pel finds himself suddenly promoted when his boss mysteriously disappears after a brief conversation with Pel about extradition laws over a game of laser tag. This makes Ursula quite happy, as she is anxious to move out of their tiny house in a crime-ridden neighborhood. Pel spends his days trying to cover up the fact that he has no idea why an Asian crime syndicate is looking for his missing boss and slacking with sidekicks Tracy and Roo. His evenings and weekends are filled with house hunting and house selling misadventures and, of course, the inevitable arguments that these will bring.
Of course, you know this is all going to explode in Pel's face. But he struggles valiantly on, hoping that he can somehow bluff his way through the whole mess with his life and his sanity intact.
This book has some profanity, and some sexual language, but no actual sex scenes.
 Your Girlfriend and You Need to Fight More Often October 14, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
Pel is a somewhat average bloke in England aside from his unstable girlfriend and the absurd set of events that change their lives. "In Things My Girlfriend and I Argue About", Mil Millington debuts a wit that has allowed him to publish a collection of successful novels. While the novel has its humorous points, long stretches of pages may interrupt chuckles. For the most part though, the humor is on target.
At times, Millington seems to let the plot get in the way of the humor. Of course, a book does need a plot. However, the corrupt hands of the university and the Chinese gang known as the Triads occupy too much space in the book. Were it not for the amazing level of corruption and incompetence at work, this aspect of the story would seem much more dry. Some of the story could have been editted. The comic gold lies in the interactions of Pel and his German girlfriend Ursula. The irrational arguments range from child-rearing, house hunting, and the shower scene which is certainly the highlight. I particularly enjoyed the fact that Ursula becomes more irrational throughout the book. It is a mark of character development.
After reading "Love and Other Near Death Experiences" and this novel, I continue to be interested in Millington's writings. As he perfects his craft in future novels, I am certain that he will make a bigger mark in the American market.
 Funny and tedious in equal measure December 9, 2007
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
I bought this book after reading the reviews on this site, so my expectations were high. The good news: It is occasionally very funny. The bad news: The story is too weak to prevent the continuous occurence of slapstick situations from becoming tedious. Thus the entire book hinges on entertainment value of the arguments between the main characters, and as funny as they sometimes are, it's a burden they can't quite carry.
"Thing My Girlfriend And I Have Fought About" September 26, 2007
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
A voice drifts up from below. "What are you doing?" My girlfriend asks.
"Nothing." I reply.
"Then you can help me with the dishes," she says.
"I'm busy." I yell downstairs.
I'm sitting in front of a blank computer screen, thinking and writing about nothing. I stare into the abyss and the abyss stares back. It's ok. I'm a man and we do that sometimes. It's Zen in the art of being a guy. I am a whirlwind at rest, serenity in action. I am in the zone. I am zenned. Sure, I could be striving for that cherished Pulitzer. Writing about world hunger, of mans inhumanity to man, of kinder and gentler political regimes, even how to grill the perfect steak, but I'm in the moment, at one with the keyboard. The perfect lead into my next column will come, because you can't step into the same river twice, and my fuzzy bunny slippers are still dry.
"Take out the trash, if you aren't doing anything!" hollers my girlfriend.
Damn, my bubble of tranquility has burst, and I have nothing, nothing at all...
Nothing keeps a relationship on its toes so much as lively debate. Fortunately, my girlfriend and I agree on nothing, nothing at all. Nobody knows the dynamics of long-term relationships better than Mil Millington, author of Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About.
Mil started out writing his column for the British paper, The Guardian. The column, it turns out, is about things that Mil and his girlfriend Margaret argue about. They argue about the remote, the proper way to cut a kiwi, and even argue about arguments.
Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About, the novel, begins with our protagonist, Pel, his German girlfriend Ursula, and their two children. Pel works in the IT department of a university library (or "Learning Centre"-- he is a British writer after all). Pel receives an odd call from his boss, TSR, who quizzes him about extradition treaties; within a week he has vanished without a trace, and Pel is promoted to TSR's former position, CTASATM- "Computer Team Administration, Software Acquisition and Training Manager". Have to love those acronyms.
The story follows both Pel's home and work lives. At home, there are the arguments with Ursula over the search for a new home, after the latest burglary of their current home; defrosting the fridge during the moving preparations; Ursula terrifying the builders working on the repairs of the new house; a skiing accident, leaving Ursula with a torn tendon in her shoulder.
At work, Pel finds that taking on TSR's job involves more than it seemed at first; he has to pay off student recruiters from the Pacific Rim, who happen to be members of The Triads, the oriental version of organized crime. He has to take care of the details of the building of a new Learning Centre building, which involves hiding the fact that skeletons from an ancient burial ground have been illegally moved from the site, and a dangerous neurotoxin is to be buried under the new addition--a dual semester science project by an unsupervised student.
These details lead him to become closely involved with the permanently hung over Vice Chancellor of the university, which leads to his receiving another promotion, to Learning Centre Manager. The previous holder of that position having left to pursue his fetish website, and well things just get stranger from there.
This is Mil's first novel and he does tend to hang a more-or-less useless plot on the concept of "things". In many places in seems to be a collection of his columns inserted into a novel. But he has great comic timing and his turn of phrasing will keep you entertained. He's so deft and downright funny that it'll get you kicked out of bed and probably start another one of those "arguments". His humor is distinctly English.
If you don't mind your humor peppered with bollocks, tossers, and the odd wanker, than Mil Millington is your man. Check him out...
Author of"Hobo Finds A Home" and editor of "Of A Predatory Heart"
Mil February 9, 2007
This is by far an original. I encourage anybody with a witty sense of humor to start thier Mil Millington collection of novels with this book. I wish he could write faster so I could get a novel every month from him.
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